A long, time ago on an island far, far away, I told my best friend that maybe she should try working less in order to support her body in healing.
She had been battling several conditions, like the warrioress that she is, yet she kept overworking herself in a very fast paced, stress-driven industry.
Many years later, when the timing was right for her path, she took some steps back from work, along with different steps forward in her healing journey, and her body and soul slowly but surely began responding to her loving care.
I used to work in an environment that much like her career, demands constant availability from its workers. You can be sick, you can have family emergencies, your cat can die, yet they still expect you to show up for your shift. It's an industry of go-go-go and do-do-do, and it was recking heck on my nervous system and my body in general.
So I decided to leave that world and made a transition into a less demanding, more peaceful career path. I developed a strong self-care practice and took time regularly for myself. Time for reflection, for stillness, for nourishment, for movement. I listened to my body and provided for its needs. If I was tired, I rested; If I was sleepy I slept; If I was confused, I meditated; if I was hungry I ate...
And then, E was born! I knew that my practice would change, for sure! And I had ideas and illusions about how long the lack of self-care would last (evidently the first six weeks, maybe the first three months... fool...) but I was completely unprepared for the fact that two years and three months later, I would still not be back to a regular self-care practice.
And so, as the good worker that I am, I fell back into my old habits from the restaurant industry. Go, go, go, do, do, do, ALL THE TIME. Much like my old employer, E expects me to show up no matter what is going on in my body, mind, or spirit.
And boy do I! I am 100% there. Not because I am a martyr or believe that I have to sacrifice myself for my kid ( I don't, but that's another post!) but because I have to. Because I live far away from family, and my amazing network of mom friends have their own shit to deal with.
Towards the end of October, as the very short autumn season settled into the very long winter here in Chicago, we closed the windows and the germs started to pour in!
Daycare allows us to have time away from E three days a week to go to work and complete everyday operating tasks for our life to function appropriately, but during the winter months, it comes with a steep price of countless viruses entering our lives.
Because of my lack of self-care, my immune system is not at its strongest, and as you may have guessed it, I have been sick a lot. But the last two months have been over the top. I have been extremely sick with a head cold or a sinus infection for more than 37 days in that time period, and here's the kicker, not in a row! I get better and believe that I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, only to fall back on my ass (not literally, although I did fall on the ice, on my ass, a few weeks ago...) a few days later and get super sick again.
This week has been the absolute worse. The sinus pressure and congestion are causing not only difficulty breathing but an intense pain on the skin of my face, in my teeth, in my eyes, coupled with muscle fatigue and exhaustion. Today, I was diagnosed with another sinus infection (second one in this two month period) and prescribed another round of antibiotics (I do not take those lightly).
I couldn't teach today and was upset about it, noticing that I have subbed out more classes than I've actually taught this week, when my husband reminded me that I needed to be grateful that I could, referring to our old life in which we just showed up to work, no matter what.
As I shared my frustration with my friend, she suggested that I take some time off from work -a few weeks, a month, nothing crazy- so that when E lets me (her words :)) I can rest and focus on meeting my body's need. The roles were reversed now. She stroke back!
This possibility hadn't even occurred to me. I let it sink in. I mulled it over, and I began with baby steps to try it on for size. I had to go grocery shopping today, there was a list, it was on the schedule. When I left the doctor, I instead decided to skip going to the store and headed straight home. And instead of folding the laundry, I took a nice hot bath. And I sat in it, soaking my tired and achy muscles, listening to a guided relaxation for a long while.
As I did, space was created for self-reflection. And I realized that it's time for me to practice what I preach. As I work on starting and growing my business serving mothers in the postpartum period, it will serve me well to make time, create space, and practice self-care myself. And as we all know, when my cup is full I will have that much more to give, to my son, to my partner, to my loved ones and to my clients.
Later that day, I shared my friend's idea with my husband. His answer was: I was thinking the exact same thing this morning!
I guess that settles it! Stay tuned, I'll let you know how it goes!
